Beloved Whore © 1994 Vagenda (Composed at age 17) (Recorded on September 27, 2015) If you want me to Then don't ask me anymore If you wrap your arms around me Then we'll end up on the floor Why do you want me When you'd do the same to anyone Don't humor me with reasons 'cause If it's all the same If it's all the same to you, then Pardon me if I expected you to care You Beloved Whore You climb in silent gestures Are you pleasing anyone Behind a flirtatious mind Is the soul of someone crying Will you satisfy your interests In me and then will just move on I would have loved to heal you but You were only having fun You weren't hurting anyone Felt your stomach start to burn Not knowing one safe place to turn Inside your mind, emotions burst Searching for something in your thirst For why you want to live this way Is there anything Left to say? You Beloved Whore

Anarchy © 1994 Vagenda - (December, 1994) (Composed at age 18) (Recorded on November 16, 2015) Kill me before it's too late I am the messenger of hate I've come to warn you of evil things to come Destroy me once I'm done I'll infect this land Don't you understand You must end me Now sit still as I chant my rites I'm a primer for a coat of black Grey eyes stare at white marble walls I'll steal your soul, but I'll spare your disguise I'll infect this land Don't you understand You must end me I'll infect this land Won't you give me a hand You must join me ANARCHY Oh, I'll burn Kill me before it's too late I am the messenger of hate I've come to warn you of evil things to come Destroy me once I am done I'll infect this land Don't you understand You must end me I'll infect this land Won't you give me a hand You must join me ANARCHY Oh, I'll burn

Domestic Violence © 1995 Vagenda - (March 23, 1995) (Composed at age 18) (Recorded on November 04, 2015) I would try to hold you I would try just to scold you I would try to start a fight I would try tonight I know my limitations Is this your extended invitation I know that you've been to hell and back But you have not seen nothing yet I would die to caress you I would die to possess you You're a bitch, FUCK-OFF! You're a slut and we ought to know 'cause And I know that it's true, how I feel about you Is just another way Just another way to say I love you Love you Just another way Just another way to say I love you Looking back, scar me Would you still mar me Feed the dogs antifreeze Kill the vicious memories I know where you've been I know where you've been I know where you've been I know where you've been with him! with him! with him! with him! again again again again I would try to hold you I would try just to scold you I would try to start a fight I would try tonight And I know that it's true, how I feel about you Is just another way Just another way to say I love you Sunshine Sunshine, open your arms to me Sunshine, Sunshine, hold me in your warmth hell, it's so cold. *solo* I know my limitations Is this your extended invitation I know that you've been to hell and back But you have not seen nothing yet Nothing yet Nothing yet Nothing yet Nothing yet

Under The Gun © 1994 Vagenda (Composed at age 17) (Recorded on October 12, 2015) She dances on moonlight In her I confide Her lips have a healing power Her names suicide My life seems so much better Under the Gun My blood stains Under the Gun My minds been burnt to a cinder Under this Sun Death seems warm and tender Her latent seduction Fills my empty soul She comforts my pain until again Were out of control My life seems so much better Under the Gun My blood stains Under the Gun My minds been burnt to a cinder Under this Sun Death seems warm and tender

Winchester © 1994 Vagenda - (December 17, 1994) (Composed at age 18) (Recorded on October 10, 2015) My mind was my suicide machine Gentle ticking bomb And I was serious I studied my life and my demise I weighed the choices for and against And I was serious I stripped off my social garments My pride, my morals, all, except reason And I was serious Winchester Super-X (R) 300 Mag 180 Gr. Power-Point And I was serious Will you draw the line Will you show me The truth SAVE ME Stare and you won't see Reality finds you Will freeze SAVE ME Gape into the jaws The doom of an untamed tooth BLEED ME For all I am worth Eternally with your disease MY IMMORTAL And I looked down the narrow abyss of my adversary to study it. And I was serious And the abyss stared back in me with one distant, steady eye. And we were serious Then suddenly my adversary was antagonized it lashed out without mercy or remorse And he was serious Today I walk, my adversary expired in the ground With nothing to regret but a broken window Will you draw the line Will you show me The truth SAVE ME Stare and you won't see Reality finds you Will freeze SAVE ME Gape into the jaws The doom of an untamed tooth BLEED ME For all I am worth Eternally with your disease MY IMMORTAL

Where Are You? © 1994 Vagenda (Composed at age 17) (Recorded on October 18, 2015) Why do you Come here? Your black faith has stained your lips And you will spread your disease Spread your condemnation For reasons you can't see Well, I don't think I'm Jesus There'll be no miracles from me I say begat your Holy War I say begat your Holy War! Down on your knees, low is your time The slant of light casts a volatile shine! To worship a God you can't find Where are You? Where are You, where are You? Where are You? A thousand years, a thousand tears, A thousand deaths that had to be You hunted down Ambrose And turned your unquenched anger to me To play inside of Nero's mind As you had in those days Will encompass Will condemn Will encompass Generations. I say begat your Holy War I say begat your Holy War! Down on your knees, low is your time The slant of light casts a volatile shine! To worship a God you can't find Where are You? Where are You, where are You? Where are You?

Immortal © 1995 Vagenda (January, 1995) (Composed at age 18) (Recorded on December 3, 2015) I'm the chosen one I'm the sacred son Think your feelin' pain, take a breath, 'cause I've only just begun I'm the sentient child Born free and wild Take a second look 'cause you won't be seeing me around for a while You can't make me die I just want to die with peace of mind You can't make me die 'cause I'm IMMORTAL Once a mortal.... I'm the setting pace Of an ethereal race I'll take your retribution and I'll shove it in your face You built your nest of pine Your safety's in your shrine How will you handle the truth once you find yourself out of time! You can't make me die I just want to die with peace of mind You can't make me die 'cause I'm IMMORTAL..... You're your own enemy.... You're your own enemy.... You're your own enemy.... You're your own enemy.... I'm the gate watcher Evil cupid avenger Forced to judge a balance without a sympathetic temper I'm forced to act on you Without eyes to see through Why must we sin, why must we all suffer You can't make me die I just want to die with peace of mind You can't make me die 'cause I'm IMMORTAL

To Silence © 1992 Vagenda (Composed at age 15) (Recorded on December 9, 2015) Holy swings around The second sound Hand to the ground Summers fresh cut symphony Darkness to behold In winters cold Don't be so bold And die in blood atop the hungry teeth He's falling down Now strike the ground The new surround- ings confuse the eyes of air The sun's astound Clouds gather 'round To cry drip drop Drip no drop to spare In minds obnoxiousness Slowly losing consciousness Like it, I'd rather leave The waters warm The air's so cold The tree won't drink And there's nothing, nothing left to breath STOP To the silence You live Your life Too fast So fast You love Your life You crash!

Golden Glo © 1994 Vagenda (Composed at age 17) (Recorded on October 19, 2015) Is it such a big crime To have a couple of friends Over to have a good time Just a couple of blades And a bottle of pills If you're satisfied with cheap thrills I just keep trying But my tainted mind Needs tainted wine No matter how far I go It's just not good enough! I never wanted to be I never wanted to show I never puked on cheap wine Bask in the after-glow

Sweet Child O' Mine (c) 1987 Guns 'N' Roses - originally released on August 15, 1988 - from the album Appetite For Destruction - dedicated to the late Ian Thomas, who had originally pushed me to learn this song as a child. (Recorded on November 20, 2015) She's got a smile that it seems to me Reminds me of childhood memories Where everything Was as fresh as the bright blue sky Now and then when I see her face She takes me away to that special place And if I stared too long I'd probably break down and cry Sweet child o' mine Sweet love of mine She's got eyes of the bluest skies As if they thought of rain I'd hate to look into those eyes And see an ounce of pain Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place Where as a child I'd hide And pray for the thunder and the rain To quietly pass me by [3x] Sweet child o' mine Sweet love of mine [4x] Where do we go? Where do we go now? Where do we go? Sweet child o' mine

Pigs In Submarines (c) 1995 The Lesbians dedicated to the late Kyle Chambers (Recorded on November 28, 2015) Pigs in submarines Cows in limousines Horses in magazines We all use Vasoline I'm a washing machine The cat got a broken spleen I'm a washing machine I'm a washing machine

To Kate (c) 1999 Vagenda (Composed at age 22) (Recorded on October 25, 2015) I feel Something I know is true How that fire in your eyes Burns the blue into the skies And sees me through It's unreal what love can make you do Did you know every word you breath Later whispers through the trees When I miss you You make me feel alive You have eternity in your eyes And infinity in your smile How can I make you realize Or have you known it all the while?

The Song © 1993 Alissa O'Connor & Vagenda (Lyrics © Alissa O'Connor 1993 - (November 30, 1993)) (Music © Vagenda 1994 - (March 11, 1995) (Composed at age 17)) (Recorded on November 1, 2015) If I should die in my sleep tonight If I should never wake up again If I should go deaf or blind Would you leave me here all alone Would you pick up the pieces and leave Or would you sit and think of me Because If you should die in your sleep tonight If you should never wake up again If you should go deaf or blind I would mourn for you forever I would sit by your side and cry I would do anything I could do for you For I love you, I need you And I'll never let you go No matter what the circumstances I'll always be here Just for you my dear

Hold On © 1994 Vagenda (Composed at age 17) (Recorded on October 15, 2015) In your ocean Peace I find Soaked in reverence Peace of mind Safe at harbour Total trust Once in a lifetime Erodes to dust I hold on I hold on I hold on To you To you In your calm Sailing down Sharpened waves I panic and drown Tamed descent Loss of air Beam of light Salvation's there Hold on Tight my friend Not a beginning, Not an end Destined blindly Burns a new sun Diamond soul All is one I hold on I hold on I hold on To you To you In your eyes Deep I see No horizon Warm and free Burning candle Dancing flame The illusion of infinity Then never again Turn back! The shore is near Try to warn me But I can't hear Awaken Confused and blind Anchored soul With you in mind I hold on I hold on I hold on To you To you

If I Was Dead © 1995 Vagenda - (July, 1995) (Composed at age 18) (Recorded on November 18, 2015) If I was dead Would you take back anything that you've said To me Would you even care If forever more I was not there To see Is that what it would take to set me free from you I wish I was dead Just to dream of all the sweet moments We once had The feel of you in my arms Your scent, the warmth in your kiss I've never felt so complete Divine years I so miss Haunt my head Now you wouldn't even cry for me if I was dead I can't believe it's so bad After everything we had I can't look Ahead I guess you'll never see How losing you was also losing me I am dead! Why has my love forsaken me?

You Can't See © 1994 Vagenda (Composed at age 17) (Recorded October 14, 2015) Sometimes, you can't see And it can happen to me You've gotta slow down You drown in endless thoughts, you fight, You walk down an endless road at night, Your souls cold We let it happen It didn't have to happen We could have worked it out Now "What'll I ever do without you?" And a million other metaphors Sound so cliché Sometimes, you can't see And it can happen to me You've gotta slow down You drown in endless thoughts, you fight, You walk down an endless road at night, Your souls cold Is it all in my head? It tends to lean in juxtaposition What is life all about? But I can't help but wonder If only I, if only I… But it's alright But it's alright It hurts to close this final chapter, The one important, yet tragic chapter Of my life

Aphrodite's Suicide © 2001 Vagenda (October 3, 2001) (Composed at age 24) (Recorded December 13, 2015) My one redeeming virtue Is that I never meant to hurt you Ya ya My one redeeming virtue Is that I never meant to hurt you Ya ya So I pick up all the pieces and try to start again They're all hidden underneath the veils But if they're pieces of delusion of something that never ends Well they're better off broke if it only fails My one remaining virtue Is that I never meant to hurt you Ya ya My one remaining virtue Is that I never meant to hurt you Ya ya So I picked up all the pieces trying to start again But this time there was nothing left behind the veils A fact that seemed so obvious I guess its not for all of us Don't get hung up or you'll get de-railed Reaching out Lust about The beautiful You're so beautiful Reaching out Lust about The beautiful You're so beautiful You're so beautiful So Beautiful It kills me It kills me It kills me It kills me So Beautiful It kills me It kills me So I pick up all the pieces and try to start again They're all hidden underneath the veils But if they're pieces of delusion of something that never ends Well they're better off broke if it only fails My one remaining virtue Is that I never meant to hurt you Ya ya...

I Walk This Mile © 1995 Vagenda - (August 21, 1995) (Composed at age 18) (Recorded on November 12, 2015) He once defied the world With her by his side Champions of independence Each an iron pride They worshipped the ground each other ruled But they grew decadent Their love became a monument of time But times change, even on the heaven sent I walk this mile under nothing but the sky I thought it was for you, but you just passed me by Sure you stayed for a while With your seductive smile Hiding all the pain It just goes to show you that even the love of God can die But I won't fall in love again His heart has been cremated And now is one with the road Cold, cracked, and lonely, walked all over He feels so empty, or so I'm told He just can't let go of the past He still blames himself for the love that couldn't last He just stares deep into the mirror And hates everything he sees I walk this mile under nothing but the sky I thought it was for you, but you just passed me by Sure you stayed for a while With your seductive smile Hiding all the pain It just goes to show you that even the love of God can die But I won't fall in love again Alone he sets his goals real high Alone he pretends he can forget her face But her name is the code on his bankcard And her birth date opens up his new brief case Because she's half of who he is He's only half of who he was He lost all of his sincere beliefs And curbs his pain with anything that can give him a buzz I walk this mile under nothing but the sky I thought it was for you, but you just passed me by Sure you stayed for a while With your seductive smile Hiding all the pain It just goes to show you that even the love of God can die But I won't fall in love again

Stay Dry © Darren Whitty 2007 (Recorded on December 13, 2015) I woke up this morning To dawn's pale light I'd been tossing & turning All through the night I rolled out of bed & thought I might Light me up a cigarette To make me feel alright It's getting harder and harder Harder to stay dry When the rain is coming down Falling from all sides I've seen sunny days I've never asked why It's getting harder and harder Harder to stay dry, that's right I looked out the window And I sighed The rain was pouring down Painting the outside My head was light My chest felt tight What a perfect day to curl up and hide It's getting harder and harder Harder to stay dry When the rain is pouring down Coming from all sides I've seen sunny days I've never asked why It's getting harder and harder Harder to stay dry, that's right So many memories And they all tried To get the full attention Of my third eye Some memories are true Others just lies I used to be able to separate Now I don't even try It's getting harder and harder Harder to stay dry When the rain is pouring down Painting the outside I've seen sunny days I've never asked why It's getting harder and harder Harder to stay dry It's getting harder and harder Harder to stay dry When the rain is coming down Falling from all sides I've seen sunny days I've never asked why It's getting harder and harder Harder to stay dry, that's right

Back When Everything Was... © 1996 Vagenda - (January 17, 1996) (Composed at age 19) (Recorded on October 28, 2015) Back when everything was beautiful Back when everything was true Back when everything was innocent Back when everything was new I never wanted it to end I never wanted it to be through All I ever wanted was everything Back when everything was you I never wanted to hurt you I never wanted to break your heart All I ever wanted was everything Now everything tears me apart

The Good In Eva Patterson (Transcend) © 2000 Vagenda (Composed at age 23) (Recorded on December 6, 2015) Every morning starts the same Dreams break on your name And the light, through my eyes Like waves crashing down on the shore I realize It slowly reminds me Of an innocence All but lost Except when your Soft embrace As I look through your eyes You warm my soul 'Till it melts my disguise My peace of mind is as far away As the reach of your hand Yet your self-worth and good intentions Might-as-well be scribed in the sand Though washed away in this ocean of time I know I'll always understand Lost but never alone Adrift and searching for home The world is so demanding I close my eyes And despite all the lies I still know where I'm standing

Cast In Shadows © 2000 Vagenda (Composed at age 23) (Recorded on November 30, 2015) The sky parts just before her lips Her words hang in the air A chill as my thoughts are eclipsed By a warmth from her stare Time Just Stands Still I'm fighting to be there Could it be better if some things had just never been Cast in shadows Cast in shadows Memory makes the cut in me While I am Cast in shadows Sometimes oceans lay between us As I run my hands through your hair Just memories like phantoms with a vengeance Smother me unless they see how you care Time Just Stands Still Tell me "Be strong and bear" Easy for you to say, I don't know where to begin Cast in shadows Cast in shadows Memory makes the cut in me While I am Cast in shadows *solo* But I keep on fighting Like my minds hit by lightning Here I am Cast in shadows Cast in shadows Memory makes the cut in me While I am Cast in shadows

Not My Friend © 1995 Vagenda (September, 1995) (Composed at age 18) (Recorded on December 14, 2015) Dave You opened up to me Confessions in your grieves You must have brought it on yourself Because your lying through your teeth Truth is Some believe you for a while Through your sick and twisted smile But you are no one's friend You just look out for number one. Can you feel My eyes when They see through Your shallow Fucking soul Tear the threads Weaved inside Each man's pride Guilts a knife Suicide Tension builds My fist clenched I'll give you A taste of Honesty But who am I Who are you I don't care You're just a disgrace! All my friends, they’re all in my head And I don’t know if I’ll see the day When all of my friends lose fear of themselves But I don’t give a fuck anyway ‘Cause I’m right here, entrapped in my shell And I don’t know if I’m getting out Until the day I realize what life’s about *Ronda Rousey* "I have this one term for the kind of woman that my mother raised me to not be, and I call it a 'do nothing bitch'." *Hatsune Miku* "Make me fries!" *Guitar Solo Begins* *Ronda Rousey* "like the kind of chick that just like tries to be pretty and be taken care of by somebody else. That's why I think that it is hilarious like when the people like say my body looks masculine, or something like that and I'm just like 'listen, just because my body was developed for a purpose other than fucking millionaires doesn't mean it's masculine. I think it is femininely bad-ass as fuck because there is not a single muscle on my body that isn't for a purpose because I'm not a do nothing bitch'." Trust Like love, are dangerous roles There is no way to control You give it all away And they try to steal your soul But you are not my friend No, you are not my friend You are not my friend I fucking should have know better. I just can't Wait for the End of the Earth, please will It'll arrive Sun explodes Sets me free My atoms Somewhere else Spawn a tree The black hole Is the gate We are sperm And that is The order Don't you try To tell me That I'm lucky enough! All my friends, they’re all in my head And I don’t know if I’ll see the day When all of my friends lose fear of themselves But I don’t give a fuck anyway ‘Cause I’m right here, entrapped in my shell And I don’t know if I’m getting out Until the day I realize what life’s about

Restless Afternoon (c) 1999 Vagenda Composed at age 22 Recorded January 17, 2016 *this song is in three sections. Section A is the primary section. Section B is a short transitional lament. Section C is a drastically re-harmonized restatement Restless Afternoon (Section A) ---------------------------------------- It's just a restless afternoon And to look at me you'd swear I'm alone in this room. But there's a bittersweet part of you Here inside me It used to be a sweet love in bloom With this ribbon tying my soul to you And its commitment echoes through Says infinity But I think I see the end There's nothing You don't know Alright Earth Raven Door's open ... I think I'm going to dust off my broom And fight for some distraction from your presence inside I used to love that special bond we shared Now it's torture It used to be a sweet love in bloom With this ribbon tying my soul to you And its commitment echoes through Says infinity But I think I see the end There's nothing You don't know Alright Earth Raven Door's open Take Flight Don't leave your heart divided Be solid and decided There's only one There's only one There's only one Earth Raven Be free. It used to be a sweet love in bloom With this ribbon tying my soul to you And its commitment echoes through Says infinity But I think I see the end Restless Afternoon (Section C) ---------------------------------------- It's just a restless afternoon I've got my mind on Saskatoon And I'll be gone soon It's just a restless afternoon I've got my mind on Saskatoon And I'll be gone soon It's just a restless afternoon I've got my mind on Saskatoon And I'll be gone soon It's just a restless afternoon I've got my mind on Saskatoon And I'll be gone soon It's not so much that time heals a broken heart After a few passed years, where two ex-lovers can finally be leisurely and chat a light meaningless chat over coffee with light-hearted smiles that comfortably imply nothing nor show any signs of that purposeful intense depth that would have been in those lips a few years before. It's not so much that time heals a broken heart As much as it is that a heart broken if given enough time, can bleed itself so dry you have to laugh at your naivety for even believing in love, question if the warmth was even real, and to strengthen what of you is left, assume it hadn't, then blame the notions and failure on your youth… It's not so much that time heals a broken heart As much that time simply leaves you without one

The First (c) 1992 Vagenda (Composed at age 15) (Recorded on December 13, 2015) * There are no lyrics to this song. This was the first song ever written with Nerado Black, at a jam session as we were getting to know each other. It was improved, and became this thing with no words. This may well only end up as a bonus track, as the last track, on the "Monori Rogue Edition" of the release.

Pack-A-Bowl (c) 2003 Vagenda (Composed at age 26) (Recorded on December 18, 2015) *this song began as a jam based off of a segment of a bass line by a friend of mine, and great bassist from Nova Scotia, Canada, Pierre Porter. We used to jam this all the time. This segment was a part of a larger work he had made called "Dat Dar Other Tune". Hope you enjoy what I did to that line Pierre! Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl Pack a bowl etc...